Between Saints and Sinners
by DaesGatling
Summary: To atone for sending Emma to prison, August makes it so Jefferson adopts Emma's son instead of Regina so Emma can come to Storybrooke. Emma obliges and comes to Storybrooke broken and not trusting anyone. And as she starts to bond with her son, Jefferson gives Emma an offer she can't refuse if she wants to share custody. Mad Swan.
1. Chapter 1

Jefferson had spent 18 years watching the people in the house by the hill. He knew each and every one of their routines. He knew who was supposed to be related to whom and he knew each and every one of their names. HE even knew about the people that Regina didn't want anyone knowing about. Everyone locked in the asylum? He knew all about them.

So the man on the motorcycle sitting across from him was an enigma. He was not known to Jefferson, his routine wasn't the same as everyone else's….and he came up to the hill and knocked on Jefferson's door.

All three were peculiar, he was from the outside world, he had to be. But that was impossible, ever since the escape from the little boy no one got in and no one got out of this town so how on earth did he…?

Unless he was one of them.

Jefferson served the man tea and listened as he the puppet explained his situation. He told him about the curse and why they were all there (as some facts were known to Jefferson but not all)…and he told Jefferson about the only way to break it. An eighteen year old girl with a baby she'd just birthed.

"You sent that woman to jail," Jefferson noted and took a sip of his drink.

"Yes," August told him, "For her own good."

"And how is that?" Jefferson asked, "Imprisoning her alone and pregnant in a world she doesn't belong in?"

This man…August shifted uncomfortably, "I know I've done her a world of wrong."

"And you expect me to pick up the pieces?"

"The curse will start to weaken on her 28th birthday, but for that to happen…she must be here and for her to be here…she has to have a reason to stay. Emma has given up her son for adoption."

And there it was.

Jefferson scoffed and looked around the room. He couldn't even protect his daughter, what made this man think he was capable of protecting someone else's?

"And you want me to take him?" Jefferson asked.

"Good house, lots of room, a lonely father separated from his child…," August watched Jefferson bristle at the mention of his daughter, "Your Grace could wake up and have a family, but she won't wake up if we don't get Emma here."

Jefferson slammed his hand angrily down, "And you think I want her to wake up and live like this?"

"Do you want her to be asleep and live as Paige? She's not. She's Grace."

"There is a third option," Jefferson protested. "There always was, there had to be."

"Not this time," August studied him, "This is a deal that benefits everyone. You'll have someone to give all this to, you won't be alone, the boy will have a parent that would care for him and Emma-."

"-If she comes."

"She will," August looked perturbed at the interruption, "She has to come. She has to be here by the time she's 28 and we're providing her with a way."

"Forcing her."

"The point is that she has nowhere to go and this would be a good opportunity for her," August said with clenched teeth, "And all you have to do is bring the boy in."

Jefferson cleared his throat. He didn't want to be a part of all this curse nonsense, he'd gotten involved in Regina's affairs once and he was still paying for that, "Regina would suspect something."

"Not if you pay Rumpelstiltskin to get all the paperwork required so that you can adopt him as...legally as one of our own can.."

It was a good offer, Jefferson weighed the advantages. If he got the boy here…and found a way to bring Emma here too then he could befriend her…if he took care of her boy then she would feel indebted to him and she would get him his daughter first. She would send them home and he would allow her her son."

It was perfect. All he had to do was care for the child until then.

And what happened if he became attached? What happened I he grew attached to Emma's child and Emma wanted to stay here when he wanted to take Grace home to their world?

He'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

But he was a selfish man, he would hurt her.

However, when they all woke up, Emma would have her family to fall back on and she could raise her son and have everything.

"Very well," Jefferson said, "I'll do it."

"Good," August said and stood, "A family sent for him in Boston, I can probably bring him here in a matter of days. You're job in the meantime is to get the paperwork in order so that Regina doesn't find out what we're doing."

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Two days later August drove up in a car that Jefferson had loaned him to get the baby. Jefferson didn't like the car; it was more trouble than it was truly worth.

He didn't like this. He didn't like using a child to get to his mother but with his daughter on the line, he had no choice. This was his chance to make sure they got home together and she didn't have to suffer like he did.

August had said something about how Emma was powerful. Surely she could do something to give him his daughter without the double mind.

"Careful," August said and handed him the bundle, "He doesn't like long car rides."

The boy had been crying. His face was read and he was shaking.

He was so…so tiny…and helpless.

And Jefferson felt an instant connection to him.

"Hey," he whispered at the boy as the child whimpered, "No, shh. It's okay, it's okay."

The child looked up at him through his tiny little eyes and Jefferson felt a protective instinct wash over him.

"It's okay little one, daddy's here."


	2. Chapter 2

That first week that Emma was returned to the prison, she couldn't walk right because it hurt and so a lot of her time was spent with her sitting there in her prison bed.

She was convinced she did the right thing. She had no money, no family, no home and no job; there was nothing to provide for a baby while she got out. He would be a foster child growing up in the system and that's where he'd remain while Emma got out of jail with a newly served sentence and try to find a job that could prove to social services that she was a good mother who could provide for her son.

And while she did that, her son would be growing up…possibly being abused. And they said that these early days were important for a child's development in the long run. The younger he was, the more likely he would be given to a family that could care for and love him instead of being shipped off to the first people that came along because he was a burden.

Like her.

Emma curled up on her…prison cot and struggled to fight tears. She couldn't be a mother. She was only eighteen and had no idea what a mother was supposed to be or do. How was she supposed to be a healthy role model for a child when she never had one herself? Good maternal figures were never around and even the ones on TV were so far out of reality that she knew she could never take after them.

So that first week, Emma told herself she did the right thing. She put her son first and by doing so she was being the mother that she could never be if she kept him. But no matter how she told herself that, there was always a strong sense of doubt that she'd done wrong and she'd failed her son.

But Emma knew that that wasn't real. She was only telling herself that because she didn't want to be alone.

And every night, Emma cried herself to sleep because in doing what was best for her boy, she robbed herself of someone that would love her unconditionally.

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That second week, Emma got a letter from someone in Maine. At first she thought it might have been a mistake. Plenty of Emma Swans out there, maybe this one was trying to find someone with her name and got the wrong address.

She should send it back, but curiosity won her over. She opened the already opened envelope and looked in. There was a photo that she couldn't see and a letter. Emma immediately went for the letter and opened it.

_To Emma Swan,_

_ You won't know me. But our lives are now entwined because I have adopted your son-._

Emma instinctively shoved the letter away and backed up like it had burned her.

No, no, what was he doing? The adoption records were supposed to be closed! He wasn't supposed to know who she was and he wasn't supposed to get in contact with her. That had been for the best because she didn't want to ever explain to her son why she had given him up because she was terrified of her own failures. He would never understand.

How did he get her information? How did he find her?

It was tempting to look, but Emma had made a promise to herself. She would stay away and let her son be raised without her.

She stood up and shoved the letter back in the envelope. She should throw it away…flush it down the toilet. That one and any others that followed.

But for some reason, she couldn't….her boy's picture was inside. So she put it up on her small little shelf.

For later maybe.

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The second week passed, another letter came. Emma cringed when the guard came in and opened it for her.

"One letter, and one photo," this guard took it out and Emma looked down so she couldn't see her son. She struggled to suppress the temptation rising in her chest as the guard put them back in the envelope and left them. She clutched her knee so hard with one hand that it would bruise. Her palms were bleeding from the other one because she'd dug her nails into them.

When she beat the temptation down, she put it with the other letter.

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Another letter came the third week, and then the fourth, and fifth and sixth…and it became easier and easier to put them side by side. One day, when it didn't hurt so much, Emma would read the letters to prove to herself that she could do it. That it wouldn't hurt to know that her son was healthy and happy and she could one day overcome her own sense of failure and see that she'd been right and did what was best.

But the seventh week was different. The seventh week of her sentence, Emma watched one of the other inmates that'd been pregnant have a severe breakdown because her family took her baby and wasn't letting her see him again.

And somehow that woman's sobs resonated with Emma as she cried that she'd never see her baby again.

And Emma went back to her cell and felt her countenance crumble as she laid eyes on the letters.

She took the most recent one and yanked out the picture out. Her son would be two months old soon. He'd gotten so big. Emma had glanced at him when she gave birth but not enough to see anything other than how small he was.

He had curious eyes and he looked like her…he looked content and safe though, he looked healthy in a way that Emma could never provide for him

Through her tears, she opened the letter inside. There were three pages, telling her about her son and how he was developing.

…_I bought him a purple rabbit at the store today…he won't be without it now…._

_ …He's still having difficulties sleeping through the night…._

_ …I know I've talked about it in the other letters, but I would really like for you to come visit him to see that he's safe. And if you need something more permanent then I can use my resources to get you a changed identity so that you could start over and pay for any expenses you need on the way here…_

It was a tempting offer. One that was too good to be true (and it probably was).

But what else did Emma have for her? Where else was she going to go? Who else was she going to be with? Was she better off being alone?

She didn't want to be on the streets again, she refused. There was no future there She could be better than that.

It was just a trial run, that's all it would be. She could go from there.

But as Emma sat down to write the letter to go to Maine; she knew she'd most likely never leave her son again.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma held the brown mail envelope that held her personal possessions including the keys to her car. She didn't expect to find it when she got outside. And she knew that if she didn't then she wasn't exactly sure what she'd do; it was a long way from where she was to Storybrooke Maine (even though her son's adopted father painstakingly gave her directions to the letter.)

Maybe Neal was out there waiting for her by the car, maybe he was ready to say he was sorry for setting her up and he realized his mistake. Emma wouldn't forgive him though, not by a long shot but she still imagined him begging for her forgiveness and that was satisfying.

But she finally got outside; she saw the car in the back.

She did not see Neal.

Not surprising but…disappointing as well.

She walked to the car and turned on the engine. It roared to life and Emma quietly thanked God that she wouldn't have to walk or take the bus.

If she had her car, it could mean that she could leave whenever she wanted to.

This was just a temporary thing. Stop to make sure her son was safe, get a job, get some money to start over and restart somewhere else. It wouldn't take long. Her son was far better off without her; she didn't care how much this Jefferson said her son needed her. She couldn't be a mother. He'd be far better off without her.

Emma threw her stuff in the passenger seat and drove out of the lot.

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Jefferson didn't know exactly when Emma was supposed to be here, she told him in the letters she sent when she would leave and he did the calculations on when she might get there, so for two days he'd been at the diner waiting.

He was going to get fat from all the pie he was eating.

His son (he named him Alexander, it was a strong name) smiled at him when Jefferson came to the bassinet in his room that morning. He didn't understand how his boy could be so cheerful all day and then just cry and cry at night.

"Hi son," he whispered and kissed both his cheeks, "Daddy wishes you good morning!" 

His son's hand curled around Jefferson's thumb and he playfully kissed it. He didn't understand why anyone could give this little bundle up for adoption. If he had a son like this through blood and he had next to nothing like this Emma did, he'd do whatever he could to hold onto them like he did when he had Grace.

He stopped and closed his eyes at the thought of his daughter. HE never forgot her, she was always at the back of his mind but there were days when the pain wasn't so bad when he had his son staring up at him.

And Alexander would always be HIS son. He didn't care how many nights he was kept up, he didn't care what Regina tried to do once she realized he actually adopted a child to ease the pain, Alex would be his.

And he didn't care what Emma did. He had qualms about letting her near his son because she did have a rough life and a rough past. A mother did not a savior make. He worried about the safety of his boy.

But for now, he would give Emma the benefit of the doubt because he knew he had to keep her here.

And he knew what it was like to have a child that was separated from him.

"We're going to the diner again," he grinned and lifted up his little boy, "Gonna see mommy." 

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When Emma passed by the "Welcome to Storybrooke" Sign, she'd been so focused that she'd almost missed it.

She was here.

Excitement and nervousness fluttered in her stomach. She was going to see her son. The boy she gave up and the man that adopted him. This Jefferson March hadn't really talked much about himself. She hadn't even seen a picture of him, all his focus was always on her son. Just like it should be, but she wanted to know about the man that adopted him as well. Did he have something to hide? Or was he just directing her attention where it needed to be?

She wasn't sure as she drove into town. He'd even given her detailed directions about how to find everything and she found the diner in no time (Hard not to, it was just a drive down main.)

She pulled into an empty spot behind a very bright red car and climbed out. Her hands were shaking and she shoved them in her pockets to hide her nervousness. Some people were sitting at some tables but none of them had a baby carrier so she walked inside.

She knew who it was the moment their eyes met. She felt her heart freeze in her chest as she stared at him. She hadn't expected him to look…like that. The first thing she noticed was his big blue eyes, and then she looked down and saw that he was wearing a nice (but very eccentric) suit with a tight cravat tied around his neck.

He stood when she approached, "Emma?" 

"You're Mr. March? She saw that here was a blanket over the carrier.

"Yes," he whispered and gave her a nervous smile and stuck out his hands, "Hi."

"Hi," she smiled and shook his hand.

"Would you like something to eat?" he offered awkwardly.

Her stomach rumbled but she shook her head, "No thank you. I ate in Boston."

He had sent her enough money to get here. She mentally made a note at how much she'd spent so she could pay him back.

"Yeah….," he trailed off and looked at the carriage, "Sorry, he was having his nap."

Emma's eyes filled with tears as she stared at her son when Jefferson lifted the blanket. Jefferson had named him Alexander; she couldn't say she was against the name. She didn't even know what she'd name him because it certainly wouldn't have been after his father.

"Would you like to hold him?" Jefferson asked.

Emma felt a tear slide down her face and she nodded.

Jefferson bend down with a smile on his face, "Hey Alex, wake up buddy."

Alex fussed a little bit and Jefferson shushed him lovingly and lifted him up.

He still looked so tiny.

"It's mommy," Jefferson told him.

Emma nearly corrected him, but she bit the inside of her cheek. Jefferson put the baby in her arms. She quickly supported his head as he stared blearily at her with grey eyes.

"Hey, Alex," Emma whispered to her boy, "It's just me."

Alex smiled at her.

And Emma was hooked.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma had only allowed herself to hold her son for a little bit before she gave him back. She had dealt with younger foster siblings all her life but she wasn't really good at it. She wasn't good with babies, they were tiny and tender and fragile and she…was a clod.

And she gave up her son. She could barely look at herself in the mirror when she realized what she'd done. She had no right to even hold him.

But when she gave her son back, she felt that empty feeling in her chest again and started wondering how exactly she could get to hold him again.

Jefferson was nice enough to order her a burger and fries. Emma tried to eat politely but she was starving. It'd been a very long time since she had a treat like this. Something that actually tasted like food.

They sat in silence while she ate. He fussed over Alex while she stared out the window into the town. It was a nice place to visit. It was cool, but it wasn't late enough in the year to be too cold. It was still a bit nippy outside but the sun was still warm.

She ordered a coffee after she ate. She needed to keep track of expenses; she didn't want to be in any more debt than she had to with this man. He'd already taken care of her kid for two months.

She craned her neck and looked at his small face in the baby carrier. She really wanted to hold him again but he would wake up. He would cry and Emma wasn't sure how she could deal with that just yet. She'd already caused him enough trouble by giving him up to someone she didn't know.

Emma played with the mug in her hand and stared out the window. Jefferson stared at the salt and pepper shakers as he slid them back and forth between his hands. She didn't know what she should say to him. There was no judging look for her going to prison, he'd been kind…and he'd been pleasant and she didn't know why he'd agreed to go along with this…but there was something fishy about the whole thing. Emma had never met this man before, why did he want her to be there?

Emma wanted answers, "The adoption was supposed to be closed." 

Jefferson shrugged, "Not what they told me." 

"It should have been in the file."

"It wasn't."

She looked at him; little red flags were going off in her mind. It was too calm, he was too calm. There was something about it his posture that told her he was lying. "I don't want trouble."

"I didn't want to give it to you," he told her.

Emma tried to discern if that one was a lie or not. She needed to be careful; he might get angry if she pried too much."

"I don't…," she looked out the window, "I don't know how I'm going to pay you back but I'll find a way."

"Emma…it wasn't any trouble. This is pocket money"

"I'll find a way," she told him again, "When I…find a place and a job and then I'll pay you back. I don't take charity, I never have."

She just stole.

"Emma," Jefferson furrowed his eyebrows, "You can stay with me. That was the agreement"

"That's not- that's not going to happen," she said and looked at her son, "Not forever. The agreement only said until I get back on my feet. No offense Mr. March but I don't…have the best track record with men…and while you're taking in my son and being as good as you have been is good, I don't know you."

"I won't touch you," he told her quickly.

"I can't…intrude on you," she said and shook her head quickly, "And I don't want to depend on anyone anymore."

"Emma," Jefferson leaned forward, "You don't have a job, you don't have a home, you don't have any money and I doubt you'll accept any from me if I give it to you out of the goodness of my heart. There's only one logical solution for you right now."

"I have my car."

"…okay, your son needs stability. He needs a warm place to sleep at night and the back of a bug isn't going to do that."

"So what?" Emma asked quickly and tried to hold angry tears back, "You want me to stay with you?"

"At least…at least until you're back on your feet," he told her as per the agreement, "Until your son…gets to know you and gets used to you. I won't hurt you…I won't touch you…I've gotten your room ready; it's on the other side of the house.

Emma narrowed her eyes, "What's your price?"

"Just some company, that's all."

"You can go to town for that."

"I don't like anyone in town."

"You won't like me either."

"Well we'll see he told her.

Emma watched him carefully, "Why should you care about me?"

"Because I know you've been hurt," he told her, "And I've been hurt too…and I think we can help each other somehow."

Emma lowered her eyes and looked at the baby stirring in the carrier. She shouldn't have agreed to this, she shouldn't have decided to be his mother, what did she know about being one? She would just hurt him, or Jefferson would hurt her somehow…that's what always happened. Emma always made the wrong choice. She always trusted the wrong person…and Jefferson had to be bad news because she was already starting to trust him.

"I'll stay tonight," Emma told him, but she could feel in the back of her mind that she was laying down long term plans "Tomorrow we'll see."

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Jefferson hadn't known what he expected when he saw the savior. She was pretty, like most saviors in the books in this world were. Not like…drop dead gorgeous, but he could see how one might be attracted to her.

She was guarded too. He expected it but that was going to be difficult to work with.

And while she was grateful to him, she didn't trust him. She wouldn't even ride in the car with him, she brought the yellow Volkswagen.

The fact that his house was isolated, that was going to do SUCH wonders for their relationship.

"Wow, is this your house?" Emma said in awe when they both parked and got out, "It looks more like a hotel. You must have a _huge _family."

"No, it's…," he lifted his son out of the car seat, "It's just the little guy and me." 

Emma pulled out her car keys and pocketed them.

"Don't you have clothes?" Jefferson asked.

"No," Emma looked down, "What you see is what I got."

"I can…pay for clothes," he stuttered. She'd need underclothes, normal clothes…probably shoes. He could pay for all of it. He could probably make some too. "I did get you some clothes but...I'm not sure if they'll fit. Might be big."

Emma looked down, "Thank you. I'll pay you back."

"Emma, you don't have to repay me," he said quietly.

"Yes I do," she whispered. He could see that she wanted to be better now. She didn't have to be a thief, she had a place to live, she had a son now, she had to earn her money to provide for him.

Alex fussed in his arms and a foul smell filled the air.

"Oh god," he muttered, "Excuse me, fatherhood calls, I have to change his diaper, "Go up the stairs, turn right and go all the way down, it's the last room on the left. That's your room; everything's been prepared for you. You even get your own bathroom."

"Oh, well that's very exciting," Emma turned, "Finally a hot shower." 

She gave him another look, like she was trying to figure out if she could go ahead and go. He turned his back so she knew that he wasn't planning to say anything else.

"Gods boy, what do you eat when I'm not looking?" he whispered.

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Babies didn't sleep all the way through the night; it was something that Emma learned quickly when she was in the foster system. When she was just taken back at three years old, she'd been forced to share with a baby and that baby NEVER stopped crying.

But if Alex cried, Emma never knew. She showered for about an hour, curled up in bed and went to sleep. This room was apparently Jefferson's old room. It held some of his clothes in one of the drawers. Emma had to wear one of his shirts; the clothed he'd gotten were too small.

Emma collapsed in bed and slept so long that it was morning when she woke up again. She felt groggy, like one does when they sleep too long. She got out of bed and wondered downstairs. She grabbed her dirty clothes and put them in a basket. Jefferson had told her she was free to use the washer. She would have to until she got new clothes. Hopefully they could do that today.

She just…needed to find out where the washer was.

Emma held the basket on her hip with the few meager clothes and went downstairs to try and find her way.

There was a knock at the door. Emma froze. Should she answer it? Or would Jefferson not like that?

Well, he didn't seem to be awake yet…

And here she was, in a shirt and nothing else…

She made sure everything was covered before she opened the door. A man stood there, dressed a…very expensive looking suit. He blinked in surprise at her, "Who are you, dear?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the landlord," he narrowed his eyes, "I don't think we've met."

"Emma," Emma tugged down the shirt when she realized once again that's all she was wearing, "Emma Swan."

He tensed and straightened. Emma thought something might be wrong, he sounded like he recognized it. And then a serene look crossed his face and he smiled, "Emma…what a lovely name."

Her hand closed on the doorknob, ready to slam it in his face if need be, "Thanks…"


	5. Chapter 5

Mr. Gold had a system. A very elaborate system in which people came to him in order to pay rent. It was a nice system; it meant that he didn't have to strain his bad leg.

But no, the madman on the hill ruined _everything _when he moved up there. Because Mr. Gold had to leave his warm shop, get in his car and travel down isolated roads with his gigantic bodyguard to get his rent from someone that wasn't particularly stable. He would've been more than happy to let the men live up there for free because there was just something about him that was downright unsettling, but it was the principal of the thing. Which was also why he allowed for Jefferson to…keep the baby he came across and forged the paperwork. He never turned down a client who paid upfront and who could help him out later.

He expected the payment to be waiting taped to the door when he arrived, but it wasn't. And that just ruined Mr. Gold's entire day because it meant that he had to _talk _to him.

Years of precise behavior and now that he was a father, he was slipping up.

So with a heavy sigh, he knocked on the door…

….and did not expect what he found. A woman…or child more like it answering the door. One that he did not recognize and he would know because he was the landlord and he recognized EVERYONE in town. He knew their names, their addresses and what they usually had for breakfast. Not that he cared, but it was something they always indulged to him. Those little things that they thought made them sympathetic.

They lived on his land, they paid him. He didn't have to like them.

So, this girl was someone he didn't recognize. He narrowed his eyes and examined her. Maybe she was from the next town over. Jefferson found someone he liked and brought her over for some…relaxation time.

She was awful young though….but she was pretty, he'd give Jefferson props for good taste.

When she introduced herself, a crushing headache came between Mr. Gold's eyes…and then memories…that he didn't remember making flooded his mind. His went into a brief panic for just a millisecond as everything washed over him in a wave.

And then he remembered everything.

His savior was standing in front of him and she was looking _very _nice. But not that sort of nice that made him into a dirty old man, because this girl was just a child.

"Thanks," she had said when he complimented her name.

There was someone approaching. Emma's eyes went to her left behind the door. A force slammed it shut.

"Well," Rumpelstiltskin said in insult.

And he waited.

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Jefferson slept with Alex in his room. It wasn't that he trusted Emma to be alone with the baby (even if he didn't. Not yet.), but Alex had difficulty sleeping at night, he didn't like the dark. Jefferson kept the crib in his room so it was an easier trip

The baby kept him up a lot of the night, but when the sun started to rise, he was able to sleep. He didn't sleep long, but he did sleep hard and that was what mattered. He could lie down with his son for a nap later if he needed to.

But he had a guest; he couldn't just lounge about all day making goofy faces at his son. He had to get to know Emma, he had to get her prepared for this battle and to do that, she had to trust him.

Which she wouldn't. He knew that look in her eyes; she probably slept with the dresser in front of the door so that he couldn't get in

He showered and got dressed for the morning. Alex didn't stir once. He smiled at his son and left him alone. Let him sleep for now. HE had had a big day yesterday, meeting his mother and all that.

Jefferson wasn't sure what he made of Emma yet. She loved the boy, he saw that in her eyes as soon as she held him but he had to take into account that she had given her son away.

Who DID that? He would have to get her to explain it one day because he himself would work three jobs and barely sleep if it meant his child was provided for. It was just…something he would never understand.

He was pulling on his coat when he walked downstairs and heard the familiar voice. His blood ran cold when he saw that Emma was standing there talking to him in the door.

It was Mr. Gold….but it wasn't…even without seeing him, he could hear that something was different. There wasn't a biting sassy yet bored remark, in fact, he sounded absolutely fascinated when he complimented her name.

There was just…something different in his voice. Could he be…?

No, it didn't matter if it was Rumpelstiltskin or Mr. Gold. Jefferson raced down the stairs and shoved the door closed, cutting off communication.

Emma gave him a shocked and angry look, "What was that?!"

"Trust me, you don't want to trust him," Jefferson said. _Either of them. _

Emma looked confused, "But-."

"It's the landlord." 

"Yeah, he told me." 

"Something probably to do with the rent," He gave Emma a quick smile, "Wh-why don't you go ahead and do laundry?"

He waited until she was gone before he opened the door. He knew the glint in Rumpelstiltskin's eye well enough to recognize it instead of the dull hazy one in Mr. Gold's.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"Well, Mr. Gold wanted the rent but I would like to get to know our little savior more, do you think you could arrange that?" Rumpelstiltskin stood on the tiptoes of his good leg so he could see over Jefferson's shoulder.

"Leave her alone."

"You work fast, she only arrived yesterday."

Heat filled Jefferson's face, "Nothing's happened!"

"I do have to admit that my Mr. Gold was quite curious when you suddenly wanted a baby but now it makes sense now I suppose. Getting the savior here…quite well done. I was curious at how it would go. Does she know?"

"The truth? Yeah, like Emma would believe that." 

"Well, you're going to have to tell her eventually. I'm guessing that boy in there is hers and she'll be down there taking him to school. She's going to notice none of the children aging. Then what are you going to do? Or have you not thought that far ahead?"

Jefferson tensed. If Emma believed he was lying to her, it could ruin everything. It would shatter whatever trust they had with each other.

"I'll work on that when we cross that bridge," Jefferson muttered, "Is that all?"

"No," Rumpelstiltskin said, "I want to keep Emma safe as much as you do. Being Mr. Gold for 18 years wasn't exactly _fun_."

"Then maybe you should've stopped her."

Rumpelstiltskin sighed and stared at his hands, "I can change Emma's identity; I can change what her records say about her and bury her real self so deep that Regina will never find out who she is. But you need to realize something."

"Jefferson?" Emma came out from the bathroom, "The baby's crying."

"Okay," he said over his shoulder and looked back at Rumpel. His voice dropped in a whisper, "And what's that?"

"What do you think Regina's going to do if she finds out you have a child here and a girl who answers the door dressed in just your shirts?"

Jefferson shot him a glare and shut the door in his face.

Emma gave a curious peek, "Everything okay?"

"Yes," Jefferson gave her an easy smile, "Uh…so I guess the clothes didn't fit?"

"Sorry," Emma shrugged.

"IT's alright. Why don't we…," he stared at her bare legs and looked back up, "Why don't we have some breakfast…you know after I see to the baby. Th-then when your clothes are dry, I'll take you shopping and for a tour."

"Okay."

"Okay," he said quickly and moved off to his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Emma spent most of the morning shopping for clothes. Jefferson told her that she could get whatever she wanted and the clothing choices were so limited that Emma felt like she could take full advantage of that without driving up the bill.

Jefferson left her alone for the most part. And even though Emma was grateful for him not smothering her or watching her carefully, she really wanted to be close to Alex. That was still a work in progress. It'd been less than a day since she saw her son for the first time. Emma understood without them talking about it that things had to be taken slow. Emma couldn't be a mother, she wasn't mother material. She had to…figure it out and work at it but not yet. Not now…

Emma finished her shopping for clothes and went to get some supplies from the general store. She appreciated Jefferson's attempts, but the shampoo he'd bought her made her hair dull and lifeless and she was allergic to the soap he bought.

Oh, and this store had giant Apollo bars. She could live in here.

Emma shoved a couple into her basket and turned the corner to go check out.

As she turned, the corner, she collided hard with another woman. The surprise made Emma drop her basket and she cursed and went to collect the things that scattered on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

Emma wanted to bite back an angry remark. The prison she was sent to was minimum security, but there were a few nasty ones in there. A couple of people had been 'bumped into' during a crowd and stabbed because they made them angry. Emma wasn't really a fan of getting knocked into after that, she'd had nightmares all throughout the pregnancy of getting hurt.

"It's fine, I wasn't…whatever," Emma looked up and stared into the eyes of the dark headed woman. When their eyes met, the woman looked confused for a second and then she broke into a smile. Emma wasn't entirely comfortable with how the woman wouldn't take her eyes off her, "Hi." 

The woman's smile fell, "Sorry. I feel like we've met before."

"We haven't," Emma said, "At least, I don't think so."

"Have you ever been here before? I'm not sure I've seen you…"

"No, I'm…," Emma gave a small smile, "I'm new."

"Wow, there hasn't been a new person in town for as long as I can remember," she said. It sounded weird. She sounded almost like she was in a haze, "I'm…I'm Mary Margaret, I'm a teacher here."

"Emma," Emma introduced herself politely.

"Have you…have you seen the down?"

"A little," Emma shrugged, "Not that much to see." 

"Well, this town's bigger than you think," Mary Margaret smiled and for some reason…Emma felt comforted by her smile, "Quite a lot of nooks and crannies to be discovered…"

"Yeah," Emma looked over her shoulder, "So…then maybe you could help me find a job?"

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Emma spent most of the day filling out applications. She didn't tell Mary Margaret much about herself, she wasn't sure she wanted to trust her yet. She didn't land anything…she didn't expect that she would yet…but give it time. The old lady at the diner said that maybe she could use some help.

"I'm back," Emma announced when she drove back up the hill and came through the doors.

"I'll be down in a minute," Jefferson called from up the stairs.

Emma wondered down to the living room and she saw the bassinet. She swallowed nervously and crept over. Her son was awake. Emma gave him a gentle smile, "Hey Alex."

He gave her a curious look and she smiled at him and let him take her finger. She kissed his fist, "I got you something."

She pulled out a small stuffed bear. He burst into a grin when he saw it and made a little baby noise at the back of his throat.

"Oh," she reached out and brushed a finger against his face, "Hi…have you had a good day so far? I have…I made a possible friend and I've been looking for a job and I've gotten some clothes for me and you…"

"You can hold him, you know."

Emma's hands tensed on the edge of the bassinet and she looked over her shoulder to see Jefferson watching her. It was a tempting offer…one that would make her happy, but when she looked down and saw her smiling son….she froze. She was terrified that if she tried, she'd hurt him. She'd held him once before…but she'd just gotten lucky. If she held him again…she didn't want to get too attached in case Jefferson pushed her away

"You want to," he told her gently, "I can see it."

"I shouldn't," she said nervously. 

"You could," he told her quietly.

"No," Emma grabbed her bags and moved past him, "Not yet.


	7. Chapter 7

All her life Emma had been plagued by nightmares. She dreamed of storms and a dark cloud chasing her, she dreamed about the abusive foster parents coming back, she dreamed about being completely alone. Sometimes she even dreamed about being surrounded by people and still feeling that crippling feel of isolation; a feeling that she was familiar with growing up.

Emma wasn't sure what the nightmare was about this time but when she woke up, she was covered in sweat and shivering.

Emma climbed out of the cover. She didn't want to remember the dream, because if she remembered it then she'd feel her chest clench up and she'd feel sick.

Emma just needed to go for a small walk. To clear her head….so she could settle it down and go back to sleep. It would be fitful but…it'd be something.

She pulled on a flimsy robe and snuck to her son's room to check on him. Jefferson was starting to trust her; he was letting his son sleep back in the nursery again. It was something that made Emma slightly pleased as it meant she could at least come in and see her son.

But when she arrived, the crib was empty. Emma felt a small prick of fear when she found the blanket and nothing else, "Alex? Alex!" 

She went to the next room where Jefferson slept, just to make sure he was with his adopted father but that room was also empty. The black silk sheets were kicked to the end of the bed.

Emma wondered around the house until she found Jefferson sitting on the small first floor closed off patio that was only big enough for two rocking chairs.

She slipped outside; it was nice and warm outside still. The day before had been unusually hot for Maine, it still was hard to believe it was night because the temperature didn't feel like it was going down at all.

Jefferson turned his head at a painful looking angle to see Emma and she shut the door slightly, "Sorry…I didn't mean to disturb-."

"Oh no," he whispered and gestured to the chair next to him, "Sit."

Emma went and sat next to him awkwardly. Alex slept on Jefferson's chest, his small fist was under his chin, and if Emma listened closely enough, she could almost hear him snoring, "He's still not sleeping?"

Jefferson smiled warmly at the little guy on his chest, "Would you believe that he was a whole lot worse before you came in?"

"No, I wouldn't," Emma stuttered, "I mean, I haven't done anything."

"He senses you're here," he gave her a warm smile that she couldn't let herself believe was handsome.

"No," Emma looked away, "I can't be a good mother." 

"I didn't think I'd be a good dad when I discovered I was going to be one."

Emma looked over at him, "Then why did you adopt Alex?"

Jefferson's smile fell a bit and he looked down at the baby on his chest and from his refusal to look at her, Emma had several guesses. One was that he didn't really want to be a dad until he got Alex; another idea was that he had another kid out there somewhere.

Emma drew her legs together and pulled them to her chest, "I've never had a good example on what a good parent was supposed to be."

"That's okay, neither did I."

"Not even my parents," Emma felt the tears gathering as she revisited the questions that she'd been asking since she was a little girl, "They didn't have the decency to take me to the hospital; they left me on the side of the freeway until a kid found me."

Jefferson gave her that same sympathetic look that they all gave her when they heard, "That's horrible."

Emma angrily wiped the tears away, "And that's not even the worst of it, the worst of it is that so many people drove by me and didn't give a crap that I was by the road. Some kid came by and picked me up and took me to the authorities.

"You must have a lot of questions."

"One's that I'll never get the answer to," Emma said and stared out.

Jefferson watched her for a few moments, "My parents were killed in a robbery when I was young. The person who did it threw me off at an orphanage, I guess as a way to sort of atone for what he did. Make sure I'm taken care of, I guess. Only had my father's hat with me." 

Emma smiled wryly, "They gave me a hand knitted baby blanket. I still have it."

"My hat was taken from me," he told her.

"That's sad."

"It is," he agreed.

"Sometimes, the other kids would take the mementos from the others," Emma told him, "Once someone tried to take my blanket and I broke their nose. I was five."

"They deserved it, then."

"Indeed they did," Emma said and then frowned, "But when people came…they saw his bruised face and thought he was being bullied….and they took him in. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I'd been chosen and not him. How things would have been different."

"Was there a chance you got adopted?" 

Emma shrugged, "Don't know. Just child fantasy, I guess. Hated him for the longest time."

"Well, he tried to take your blanket."

"That wasn't the reason, I hated him because he got picked and not me," Emma told him, "Instead I got sent to a foster family who did this to me."

She showed him a cigarette burn on her left hand.

Jefferson took her hand in one of hers and ran his thumb over the scar. Emma instinctively wanted to pull away but there was something comforting in his grip, so she just held his hand.

Just for a little bit.

"It's a nice night," Emma muttered.

"It's hotter than hades," Jefferson muttered, "The only reason I'm out there because Alex sleeps better when it's warm.

"Really?" Emma asked in amusement.

"Don't know what he's going to do in the winter, the house doesn't heat all the way, ti's too big."

Emma gave a half smile, "He'll adjust. We all do."

They sat there in silence for a little bit.

"You should probably go to bed soon," he told her.

"Can't sleep."

"Nightmares?"

She nodded and played with the edge of the robe.

"Well," Jefferson said quietly, "Something else that you and I have in common."


End file.
